I’ve Heard Of Laying Down Some Pipe, But Jeez…

Friday, March 12th, 2010

I came across some very odd stories the other day and immediately thought to blog about them, as they are quite weird.

The first one is ‘Man Marries Pillow’. A man from Korea has married a large huggable pillow with an anime image on it. It is called a dakimakura and you can buy them legally (or so I’m told). I have no idea if it’s legally binding, but for the sake of my faith in humanity it really shouldn’t be. I mean, I’ve heard of lonely people kissing their pillows (sometimes I do it myself) but that’s taking it too far, surely?

The article that I have linked to below does not say whether he intends to have ‘relations’ but to be honest I suspect he already has. Sex before marriage is tolerated now, after all.

Gay marriage is only now starting to become tolerated (and twice I’ve seen Yahoo use the word marriage in air quotes when describing male-on-male marriages; as in “the two men were ‘married’ this morning”)

The next story is a little closer to home (unless you are somehow reading this from the moon). In our fair isle (Southampton, to be exact) a man got his penis trapped in a stainless steel pipe. God knows what he was doing (he apparently ‘did not explain to hospital staff how exactly the pipe got stuck around his penis’).

Doctors at the Southampton Genital Hospital couldn’t wrench off the pipe and secure his release, as the restricted blood flow caused his penis to become erect. I could be wrong, but I presume that was the general idea behind what he was doing in the first place. Maybe he just wanted to be able to use some porn lines on his womenfolk (such as “Hey, I have a pipe to give you!”)

After the doctors failed to get his pipe out of the pipe, they brought in some firemen who used an angle grinder to cut him free. Yes, you heard that right. An angle grinder. Rather wonderfully, the Metro article concerning this just shows a picture of ‘an angle grinder at work’ so you can get some idea of how he must’ve felt. When Boy and I read the article, we both winced when we read the descriptions.

The best part of the whole story was the firefighter’s statement at the end of the article. Specifically, the words “I’ve only come across this type of thing three or four times in my 17 years as a firefighter. It’s not a daily occurrence.” Well, duh.

Happily(?) the penis was only bruised and swollen, so no lasting damage was done by his idiocy. I’m saying idiocy because it’s incredibly hard to get your penis caught in a steel pipe by accident.

Man Marries Pillow article: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/816601-man-marries-pillow

Man Gets Penis Pipe Extension: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/808171-mans-penis-freed-from-metal-pipe-with-industrial-grinder


3 comments on “I’ve Heard Of Laying Down Some Pipe, But Jeez…

  1. Sporian says:

    I Renember I told you about the penis thing. =X

  2. Sporian says:

    On the Ngamer forums, see?

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