Because iCan…

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Now, I don’t plan to be alive in fifty years time (I’m not suicidal, just not counting on it) but if I do manage to survive a half century, I can guarantee (not a guarantee) life will be much better then than it is now. Hopefully during that time, we will have made advancements in space exploration and travel, helping the current financial crisis and healing the sick people of the world.

As you probably know, a few bankers juggled more tiny bits of information than they could keep up and now the world is now in the grip of a global recession. Fifty years down the line, we should either have solved it somehow, or it will no longer matter after we’ve suffered some sort of apocalypse. I’m hoping the first option comes true, to be honest.

I also believe that there will be advances made in the field of space exploration, if not travelling to other worlds. If there aren’t any advances to do with space colonisation, then there will be technological developments for our use, like a cool little robot that does everything you could want. It’d probably be called something like the iCan (name trademarked by me). This iCan could also be some sort of small supercomputer that can make the correct calculations for faster than light travel, which could help with the previously mentioned space travel. There would also be developments in the field of psychology, so that minds could be subtly altered to give criminals good ideas and feelings instead of bad, and it could also be used to keep religion down. I also predict that the first instantaneous teleporter will be invented by someone hoping to spice up their love life. Hopefully these advances would also cause the death of reality television. Who’s with me?

In the absence of Jesus, it must fall to our lowly doctors and nurses to heal the sick of the world. Some of the medical advances over the next five decades would include creating a cure for cancer, the common cold, and stopping stupid people from being able to breed. Plus Jesus could be potentially resurrected so he can tell his followers to ‘get a life’, like the William Shatner sketch on Saturday Night Live.

In conclusion, I think that life will be better in fifty years, but three things have to happen: we have to invent space travel, we have to solve the current financial crisis and we should stop stupid people from having sex. Oh, and someone should get on with inventing that iCan (Tm) robot. He sounds awesome.


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